Just want to talk

Most of the time I never know what to say until its too late. I hate that. Sometimes its not until days later. I look up from what I'm doing and say "shit!". I had just thought of something to say to someone from days before. Most of the time I would love to be able to say something right at that moment but I am so bad with words when it is personal. When I am working I can think of a lot of things to say but thats work and its different for everyone. Most people tell me that I should think before I say anything but then they get mad when it takes me a moment. Make up your minds people. I am not a robot that can only do what you want me to do at the moment that you want me to do it. I am a person that is not good with words. If you know me at all then you know this already. I have friends that, just like everything else in life, are better at this then I am. They know who they are. That line of thought always takes me back to the fact that I dont seem to be good at anything. I can work hard and make sure that I am at work on time and sometimes I'm even good at my job but there is really nothing else. I have friends that are good at all the things that people really seem to need: like art, spelling, grammar, reading, writing, math, science, computers, history, or taking care of others. Where is my talent? Where is my "thing" that I should be good at? Doesnt everyone have something? It seems so. I was thinking just the other day about how I keep saying that I want to write. I have always wanted to be a writer. I read books, watch movies, and just think: Why cant I do that? I am starting to believe, something that I really never wanted to, that there are just some people in the world that have nothing. I am sure that if I brought this up with my friend that I would get an ear full but I cant help felling this way. Some people just dont understand what it fells like to have no talent. I have a big binder fill of poems that are just sitting there. I wont do anything with them. I think they all suck. Maybe someday when there is nothing left for me, I will do something with them. That day my never come but until then, I will just talk on here and hope that someone likes what I have to say. If no one does, then thats okay. I am not writing for you anyway. Nothing left. Night!