meaningless dribble

i have been feeling down most days. i dont even care if i spelled the title for the post right and i am not going to put anything in upper case letters. i feel like i both have alot to say and nothing to say at the same time. my last post was just because i had to say something about losing a friend. it hurt me that my long time friend could not talk to me. instead they just cut me off. i have been told that i am a good person and the good friends that i do have i have had for a very long time. i dont know how to deal with having someone tell me that i do more harm then good. i just try. if i do something wrong why cant people talk to me. i can listen. i listen all the time. i am sure that some people will come across this blog and just think that i am some girl that likes to wine. well dont we all? i hear people wine all the time. its fine. if you dont believe that something is fair say something because if you dont then you have no reason to wine. speak people. i will try to write more and i will try to be more up beat. but trying and doing are not the same thing. no one changes overnight. i have spent most of my life trying to change and little by little i have. most of the change has been due to the people around me. i have wonderful friends and even if i just lost one that just means that i was wrong about that person. my heart still hurts and i still have to stop myself from calling and asking but i will get better. getting over is not forgetting. it is just learning to live without even if it hurts to do so. so now that i have said nothing. here is a poem. feel free to hate it. i suck at poems anyway lol.

broken hearted
loved in vain
hands empty
eyes full
tears streaming
smile gone
dark places
missing you
wasted years
secrets shared
souls lost
what now
is tomorrow here
will there be
missing me

and yes that can be a poem lol. its messy but its me. enjoy.