Current thoughts

I have already said that people say that I talk too much. Well, they also say that I think too much. I happen to agree on that point. I do think too much. Way too much and about things that don't usually mean much. I was trying to fall asleep and I was thinking (for some reason unknown) about how I see myself. Ever since I was little I have wanted to be someone that others look up to. For me growing up, I had the authors of my favorite books. It would wow me every time I opened book. How did they do it. How did they make a world out of nothing. Then I wanted to be one, I have no talent for such a thing. I have been trying for years to write a book and I have very little to show for it, but lots of sleepless nights like this one. Some people just don't have the talent. But how could someone have no talent for anything. I don't know how, but I seem to be one of those people. There are so many things that I have tried and for some reason or another I have failed. Someone told me once that the only talent I had was being a door mat for others. I would like to think that I am not, but it's hard. Doing what is asked of me and being there for everyone, no matter what it cost me, just seems to be something that I am good at. The only thing I guess. Now, any of my friends that read this may disagree, but they do know that I am right about one thing: I am not good at anything. Not good enough to do something great or be looked up to by anyone. My one wish in life is to find something, anything, that I can be good at. I want to leave the world knowing that I made someones life a better place. My love and my friends have all been that for me. They make my world a better place every day. I know that this really isn't much to say, but maybe getting the thought out will help me sleep. I really don't think it will, but sometimes you have to try everything before you stop. I am thankful that my good friend told me to start blogging. Sometimes you just need to get the thoughts out there. Here's to the hope that tomorrow is a brighter day. Here's to the hope of Someday.