I have no idea why I haven't been writing. It could have been the lack of internet, but it could also have been that I have been afraid to talk about a few things that have been going on. I am not sure if there are things that I really want to put out there. After thinking about it for some it, I have decided that most of my life is already online so why not put more. I googled myself the other day and found so much about me. I have no clue how it all got there. Now I'm not sure I care. There are no videos, nude pictures, or even any bad stories. Just info that's not even that important.
So live has been going on. I have made some new friends at a new job. I don't really like my job all that much, but being able to work with some of the people that are there, makes it a little easier. I have been thinking a lot about what I want in life. And before people start thinking that I am going to talk about marriage and babies, I will just put out there that I am happy and no amount of either of those things will make my life happier. I would just like a better job. Everyone does. I would like a car that works better. Everyone would. I would like to be smarter. A lot of people would like that too.
I am not different from anyone out there. I just put more out there for people to see. I am okay with it.
My sister is going to have more kids. Cool! The more she has, the less that mom talks to me about having some. Really. I mean it too. That is just sad. Most people would be okay with one or two but not my family. Why is it that people believe that they have to have so many kids. There are so many kids out there that need families because they don't have any. But that is a different rant. I am very happy for my sister. Its going to be hard, but just like the great big sister I have always been, I will be right there to help however I can.
Sometimes I wish that more people would ask me for help, but hardly anyone does. Someone told me that it was because no one believes that I can help. I just act like a kid and so no one thinks that I can be helpful. Well, that sucks. I'll have you know that I am great at helping. If I can't help, I will find a way for you to get help. Every person that has ever called themselves my friend (and I happen to agree) becomes my family. You all know who you are. Not every one, but most. I have a big heart and I love to take care of people.
Even if I don't write every day, I am thinking about writing every day. I love to put ideas and words out there.
Time for bed.
Nite nite
